Out of the hundreds different genres of books available in bookstores or on Amazon there is one genre that consistent outsells every other, particularly in the female demographic. Can you guess what it is? Do you give up? I’m talking about romance novels, otherwise known as “literotica”.
The question is, why do we love reading stories about passionate love affairs, and all consuming romantic desire?
In this post I’ll be talking mostly about women, but I should point out that men also like to read this kind of material (although few will admit it). The truth is that this a very basic human need, that both men and women feel very strongly. We all feel the desire to have wild passionate connections. In fact there is even a program fro men called The Desire System that teaches men how to find these kinds of relationships by improving there social skills!
But what about women? There are many women who feel that their value depends on having a man. They feel that if they are not able to “bait” someone, their intrinsic worth plummets.
It is ironic that the more a woman feels this way, the less a man is likely to feel attracted. It may feed a man’s ego initially. In the long run, however, a “needy” woman tends to turn off men in general. So, what do we you think happens next – inevitably she turns to literotica to live out her dreams of passion vicariously through the characters in the book.
This is not to say that it is only lonely, desperate women who are reading romance novels. This is just an extreme illustration of what happens to all of us to varying degrees. Even those of us it happy, loving, passionate relationships still want even more passion in our lives!
After all, even if you are married to the greatest, sexiest man in the world, there will still be times that he needs to work late and you are left alone to entertain yourself..
However, in the case or a lonely woman, this lack of passion can become a real problem and sometimes a romance novel is the only way to fill that void.However, all things considered reading a book is probably a far better option than some of the other choices a woman could make.
Because a needy woman is so desperate for passion, she typically tends to feel the pressure to feel close to a man in the shortest possible time. She may have just met the man but this does not stop her from confiding in him right away — to get a sense that they are emotionally close, that he is a shoulder to cry on, that he is somebody she can be completely open to regarding her feelings.
A man is likely to feel threatened and pressured by such actions, especially if he feels that the relationship has not progressed enough. He is likely to maintain some distance, if not completely disappear from her life.
So if you ever find yourself in this kind of a situation be sure not to fall all over yourself when he extends an invitation to go out with you. Showing your interest to get to know him better is alright. But do not ever make it appear that there is nothing more interesting in your life than going out with him. If it seems like you are always ready to see him at a drop of a hat, ready to drop all else just to be with him, he is likely to take you for granted.
A man appreciates a certain elusive quality in a woman. If you nurture a little less availability – physical and emotional, he tends to become more challenged to win you. Intrinsically wired for the hunt, he is likely to become more smitten if it seems that you have an interesting life – one filled with amiable people, fascinating pursuits, and interesting endeavors. It is good to be charming, friendly, and approachable; it inspires a man to know that he is making some progress in his pursuit of you. The secret is not to appear desperate and frantic in your efforts to snag a man.
Remember, you can always go home and read a romance novel in the meantime, until you find the man of your dreams. And even then I’m sure this is a genre you will probably want to revisit.